Shame

I feel ive been criticized, laughed at, degraded about the majority of things I’ve liked in my life. And while I still like these things, because of the negative feedback I’ve recieved, I don’t share as much, unless I know you share the same interest. For example – growing up as a tween, boy bands were all the rage. NSYNC vs BSB was like Hatfield vs McCoys (and you if don’t get the reference, you’re too young bro 🤪), Tupac vs Biggie, Montague vs Capulet, donkeys vs elephant 🤭🫏🐘, serious business. My family made fun of me or cracked a joke every chance they got, so eventually I stopped mentioning it, I didn’t want it, so that lead to generally not mentioning interests, and since they werent mentioned, it became to feel secret, naughty, taboo, so then when mentioned, the bad vibe associated with it being wrong to like something, since no one else does, I feel shame for liking something. Anything.  Unless I’m with my friends at school who were equally boy-band crazy and it felt safe, and familiar and accepted.

So eventually, you lose people who had/have similar interests along the way, and you lose your  identity, you’re kids are getting older and becoming real humans with commitments and priorities and no drivers license